The implied subtitle to this question is: “Don’t they get paid?”
There might be many people who wonder why we should go to great lengths to support foster families if they are getting paid for their services. Do we really need to support people who are in these kinds of jobs?
First a big clarification is in order. No, foster parents do not get paid for being foster parents. It is not a job in the sense of a career. What they DO receive is a check for support each month that are for the benefit of the kids in their care. The money is supposed to help with items the child needs, things like food and clothes, and the costs associated with raising kids. The truth is that the money helps to offset the cost of taking another child into your household, but they usually do not cover it all.
It might seem like adding a child to the household budget wouldn’t be a big extra expense, but it’s amazing how quickly it adds up. This is especially true when the goal is to bring that child into all of the things that any other child in the home would do. Having a child involved in activities like sports, school clubs, field trips, etc, will easily deplete whatever payments a foster parent receives. Then when we consider clothes, meals (especially when eating out), extra travel to and from parent visits, activities, therapy, it is safe to say there is no money to be made in foster care.
Often when a child comes into care the first question that CPS asks the parent is, “Do you have any family who could care for this child?” If they do have someone willing to take the child, they will take them in what is called a “kinship placement.” This could be an aunt, uncle, or grandparent who takes the child into their home. Those kinship placements often do not receive even the regular support checks that foster parents receive, since they are not licensed.
In addition to the licensed foster homes, many of the families who we support through Kids Belong are actually Kinship Caregivers who are receiving no other outside help.
But even setting the money question aside, there are a lot of reasons why it makes sense to support foster families
- Foster parenting is lonely
Foster parents report feeling isolated from the rest of the world around them, including even their friends and family. There are pressures associated with bringing a new child into your home (through unusual circumstances), adapting and working on bonding as a family, sorting through trauma issues, possible behavior concerns (with a foster child or with biological children adapting to the changes), navigating the system, court hearings, caseworker visits, and more. Besides being suddenly very busy just managing all of those things, those challenges are not something that non-foster parents can often relate to, which can leave the foster parents feeling more isolated and unsure of how much they can share or with whom. Not to mention there are confidentiality issues that limit how much information can be shared.
Supporting a foster family through those transitions and challenges, even without necessarily being able to relate to them, but just being present and offering support can help break down the invisible walls that a foster parent might feel around them
2. The burnout rate is high
Foster care is all about brokenness. It’s a broken system, full of broken people, trying their best to put pieces of broken families back together. The work is hard and demanding and everything takes SUCH a long time, and positive results are usually very slow in coming. The whole process is, well, broken.
So it should come as no surprise that families get tired, worn out, and want to quit. An average of 5 foster homes hang up their license in Michigan each day. Some of them adopt the kids in their care and don’t have room for more, but many cite the general stresses of foster care as a primary reason for closing their license.
This brings us to point #3…
3. Supporting a foster family can help them last longer in foster care
The stresses of foster care are real, but what compounds them is the isolation and feeling of needing to carry the burden all alone. If foster parents have a network of support around them, just knowing that they are cared for and supported can make a big impact on their perceived levels of stress and isolation. Foster families who are connected to supports experience stress as being more manageable than those who are more isolated, who tend to view the challenges they face more as insurmountable obstacles.
Since 5 homes close to foster care per day in Michigan, we need to preserve every foster home that we can in order to meet the overwhelming need. By supporting a foster family, you are helping the entire system meet the needs of local kids by preserving an important space for them.
4. Kids changing foster homes is usually bad for everyone
When a foster child needs to be moved out of their foster home for one reason or another, it’s called a placement disruption. There are many reasons that a child might need to move within the system, such as family situations within the foster home, behavioral issues the foster parents don’t think they can address, or moving into or out of a home with a relative.
Every time a child moves within the foster care system it is another loss and another restart. Often it means a new school, new home, new siblings, and a whole new environment. It’s estimated that changing schools sets a child back by 4-6 months in their educational progress, which puts foster kids who change placements at a significant disadvantage academically. This is even more true if they change homes often.
For all of the reasons that foster care placements break, studies have shown that foster parent stress is the #1 cause. When foster parent stress reaches a point that it feels unmanageable, foster children are disrupted. And there is plenty of stress in the foster care system to go around.
But here is what that means for you: If you are not a foster parent but you want to make a positive impact in the foster care system, this is where you can start. Supporting, listening to, helping, or just generally being with a foster parent means lower levels of stress for them, which means not only could they foster longer, but foster child placements could break less often.
The result is actually a tangibly healthier, happier, and more stable system!
So to answer the question…
Why should we support foster families? Couldn’t they make their own meals? Can’t they run their own errands, buy their own groceries and diapers? Can’t they manage their own households without our help? Of course they can! And they do, day in and day out.
But when you come alongside someone who is carrying a heavy load, even if they are very strong, and you say, “Here, let me carry one or two of those things for you,” the point is not whether they can manage it on their own. The point is that they feel seen, supported, and encouraged.
When you bring a meal to a foster home, could they have cooked it themselves or ordered that pizza on their own? Probably. But the fact that you came along and said, “Let me take this one small thing off your list for today” means you have reminded them that there are more people invested in their family and the kids they are caring for. It means a family being encouraged by the desire of other people to come alongside and be a part of it.
It means foster parents are not as alone as they often feel.
It means that in even a very small way, you are helping make a better future for a child in foster care. And that’s not a small thing.